Since the day we Met, For Your Benefit

Nothing better than the sure and certain hope that we have met, or that we will meet.

TO ME, at least! Lately, lately's, remember when some other time -- Some things are just not worth remembering. I'll start from the top for your benefit

I was looking through some middle school piece of writing of mine. For some reason I listed my "fifth grade moving up ceremony" as one of the most important or memorable moments of my life. I can understand how that might be the case. I kind of stood onto my tippy toes and held my belly against a stone wall, peering down into the purpose of me writing such a thing. It is very likely that, I somewhere thought I might not graduate elementary school. I was a nervous child and I often worried about following rules and doing the right thing. It probably was a very big deal to me, to move on to middle school. I would say I know certainly that it was, but for memory's sake I find it hard to believe that girl and myself have lived in the same body, lived the same life. I guess in many senses we have not. But i have come from her, and she turned into me. But I'm reconstructing a feeling that I do remember having - a worry about outcomes that are virtually impossible, and cherished ideas about the milestones of life, which  live now in those forgotten parts of what once was your life. 

I don't intend nor do I need to trip out on that human experience of reflection and transformation. But I was prompted to think about my other graduations and moving-up experiences. Yearbooks, the last weeks of school, in middle and high school, even college stand out to me clearly. I have long held passion for the academic, but even where I was kind of disinterested in the work,  school was my world before I went into the world. I don't know... I just got interrupted in my thoughts by a friend in the Cafe, but i was getting pretty misty just now about all these images of growth... 

So for a starting point just thinking about all the mole-hills we will happily make into mountains because, because we don't know anything else yet! It seems so important at the time. Until one day, you can't even put your face into a comfortable position when recalling the passions and fears that once escaped you. You find yourself wondering where or why you might have felt that way, and the strangest and most remote feeling of the experience is being able to reach an understanding only through reason - not reactive emotion, like how it happened at the time - about where your head was at. 

Uhm.. Not sure how that would land. These weeks are happy, I'm excited and really sentimental. I've been able to think about what's going on here on the website and why I'm doing it. I want a good resource for your benefit, because I love you. This work has always been in fascination of the relentless efforts of genius one person makes in their lifetime, in order to combat the idea that life is too much for them. With time, I hope that many people I have been able to live with and learn about will find a home, here, and we can look at a fun and strange picture or map together, and say Wow, that's the stuff.

This part of the year and particularly this week, we acknowledge the beginning of Spring, the start of the zodiac cycle, and my personal favorite - Just got interrupted again !!!! Because everyone's vibing around with big smiles and curiosities, and they just wanna touch and be close. It's very sweet. This week in the West is the celebration of the resurrection of Christ. Jesus is not only a personnage in the drama of humanity, but a central figure to the present condition of human psychic development. This sentence does more than I could hope to express my appreciation and incorporation of Christ in my views - That, I would have no basis for views at all, if the Christian bloom had never occurred during a time period we now refer to as the First Millennium. 

Reattending to this blog post now from the train, on the last day of March, Easter Sunday. Many people are about, in hats and suits even, and I am going to serve at the Caffe. The month of March was deeply busy in a way where April, May and June will see what it was all about, and Spring will put to use those infrequented ceremonies which form part of the plan of where you want to be next. I saw many vomiting and bedraggled, wanting more and struggling with bags that they don't need. And heads at 60 degree angles as plastic chickens. But I also saw handsome people, curious people, and not a chance I ever feel I'm not spoiled. 

Spring is always a little bit of pain to do a lot of good. When the pandemic happened I remember distinctly the essence of the air in the weeks leading up to "lockdown". Trapped vapours escaped the situation, the protocol and conventions we had become used to had to be modified. For dating, for work life, for education, community health, debt, to name a few realms, because of what had been revealed to every one of us. Today We still go on reeling from those modifications, and like anything that is changed on a broad level culturally we learn as we go along how certain forms look on us. All is to say that I feel it again as I did at that time. For a little while we lived in an uncertainty that was reactionary - we are past reacting, now we see our growth into the changes, like of a toddler stage, and it is as though the disruption that was March 2020 will certainly be understood now. 

Coming to the front. Sometimes in my life I am confronted with the idea - not that my beliefs are true, because belief is so tenuous and unimportant, even faith just doesn't matter, but a clear and direct understanding of what is possible in reality as opposed to what need not be , I guess some people understand that feeling to be faith, but faith implies belief still - I am confronted with the idea that what I saw really happened, is the best way to put it. And now is a time where that feeling will end, for the reasons stated above about the cultural atmosphere, and also due to my age and path of becoming within this circumstance. No longer is the moment for checking, proofing stats and even "realising". Things are serious right now, seriously relevant. Your heart which has been knocking within you knows one thing, and your predictions have remained the same since time immemorial. There is no need for anything further than your will.

With strength, and Easter blessings.